When I was in school and trying to play the oboe, I wanted to be really good at it now, not after I spent interminable hours practicing. Practicing was decidedly un-fun, you see! I didn't want the inconvenience of the practice, I wanted instantaneous success! This process is much the same - I want to be fully happy again now, without having to go through the un-fun parts of healing and growing for a while. However, I'm realizing that the two are extremely similar. The healing now, and the oboe practice sessions then, are a necessary step toward the end result. Without them, I'll just be stuck as a mediocre oboe player!