Acceptance

Remember the old Serenity prayer: "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."?

That's where I am now. Muffin learned to ride a bike yesterday, and I wasn't there. Ex's girlfriend taught her. And nobody even thought to call me and share the news with me. Today I find out that Ex and his girlfriend are getting married. . .just as soon as both of their divorces are final and they've waited the 60-day waiting period. How completely irrelevant does that make me?

Maybe I was irrelevant all along. But does it really matter? Intellectually I know that what matters is where I am now, and how I grow from this point. I know that I will get to the place where I believe this is the best thing that ever happened to me. I will get to the place where I see myself as . . .me. . not as someone whose husband left them, or that this horrible thing happened to. I just don't know how to take that step.

"They" say to not worry about the "how." They say to simply see myself in that place, and the "how" will take care of itself.

Leap of faith, here I come:

I am strong. I am compassionate and caring and desirable and smart and competent and good and . . . this IS the best thing that ever happened to me because it's enabled me to learn all of those lessons and to value those characteristics about myself.